Saturday, January 5, 2013

Enjoy the Process

 Sigh. Where to begin. It has been way too long since I've blogged. Days, weeks, months have passed (said with an Eeyore voice!). Some of them significant, some of them best forgotten. Nothing really out of the ordinary, can't remember any cute quips or funny stories to share. I'm sure I've learned a few lessons along the way, but I didn't record them. Sometimes not even in my then the question is, did I really learn anything? Or were my days just little squares on a calendar page long torn off and discarded? Hum, I don't really know,

Isn't this the time of year that we stop to reflect on the past year, make those resolutions, all those things we want to change about ourselves or our habits? I saw a cartoon today where one was asking another "just what is a resolution?" and the answer was "January's to do list."

High hopes. I always have such high hopes, things I want to accomplish, goals to be better, loose weight, exercise, keep the house neater, be nicer to strangers (and family!), deep clean, finish up projects, etc.  Sometimes I think I just set myself up for failure because the goals are usually too many for one person to accomplish at one time. The need to measure a day by the "production"....don't get me wrong, sometimes that is a very necessary part of life...but sometimes I think my goal for the day would just simply be better to "enjoy the day".

Hence the photo above. I was all stressed out because my "time off" between Christmas and New Year's didn't go according to my plan....I got sick. Socking. Really! Okay, I know I'm not the only one out there who has suffered with the flu, but you have to understand, I never get sick! Seriously, we tried to remember the last time I wound up sick in bed - that's how my body heals, deep sleep - well, it hasn't been in this century! Can't remember actually...anyway, the fact that my week didn't go as planned really bummed me out. And with the sun wanting to hide for well over a week has contributed to my restlessness, my unfulfilled empty and alone feeling. that deep melancholy feeling that I can't seem to shake...I seriously need sunshine!

So on my one day that I found I  could devote selfishly to myself all I did was just turn in circles in my studio. I wanted to work on something, but there were too many choices and the time was short. Did I start a new project, or did I pull out one that was almost finished so I could say I finished something? I was wasting time with my indecisiveness and THAT  certainly wasn't being very productive.

It was then I remembered something my husband has shared with me on numerous times - "enjoy the process."  Too many times I get caught up in the end result and want to rush right through something so I can mark it off my to do list. Or those deadlines, gosh how they can rule your life if you let them (especially if you are a procrastinator like me!). Seems like I'm always rushing through something to get on to the next something. Where's the joy in that?!?!?!

I peeked ahead and already know that tomorrow's sermon is going to speak to me...Our pastor teaches verse by verse and tomorrow's passage is from Matthew 6, the part where Jesus talks about worry... about how the birds are taken care of and the fact that God loves us more than the birds. I'm already feeling both convicted and released. Set free from over analyzing, stressing over the to do list, being gloomy cuz the sun isn't shining and I can't find the energy to focus.... or to put one foot in front of another.

Enjoy the process. That's what I did the day of that photo. I wish I had a pieced top to share, but I don't. Just 20 blocks made for a quilt that needs 4 to 5 times that much. Is it another mounding unfinished project? Who knows. I'd like to finish it, I like the way the colors and design are coming together. How soon do I think I can steal away time to work on it again? Who knows...and when that time comes I may be distracted and want to work on something else. All I know is that I did enjoy the process that day and I hope I  can remember to enjoy each day.

Even the dark gloomy days. Even the days when I'm alone and it seems like there's no one to talk to. Even the days when all I do is put one foot in front of the other and focus on the task at hand. Yep. Joy is a choice. Enjoying the process is a choice. Not just existing, not just checking off the to do list...but truly enjoying  being alive and thankful for God's provisions for that day.

That's my goal. Be grateful for each breath I breathe and do my best not to be so wasteful with all those precious moments, all those little squares on the calendar page. It's a new month, a new year, and a new opportunity!  thanks for taking time to share the journey.

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